In and out of the shower. In and out of the office. In and out of bed. Grocery shopping. Making dinner. Traffic. Kids. TV. Computers. Video games. Bills. Phone calls. Life is an endless highway of mind-numbing tasks. A road of things to do. We become numb, and the pattern is comforting in it's own way. So on we go. Sleepwalking our way to the next intersection. Occasionally, we make a stop here or there. But, for the most part we just stay on that Long And Winding Road. Our hearts beat so slow that it's difficult to detect a pulse. If we cut ourselves, would we even bleed?
Darrin and I have gone our separate ways again. Not in the 'break up' sense. Just in the sense that we have, again, taken different off ramps and are off doing our own thing. It's a normal part of our lives. But it becomes lonely after a while and we meander our way back to the highway and meet up once again. I haven't seen the highway in a while. I know he's out there somewhere and I know he loves me. Still it's lonely for both of us, no matter how alluring what pulled us off the highway may have been. I'm ready to go back.
As a change of scenery, Erica decided to see a movie Sunday. We saw
Across the Universe , a movie I had seen the previews for and thought might be interesting to see, though I was pretty sure I was going to have to hog-tie someone to go with me. It's a love story set in the turbulent 60's ...and it's a musical. I don't think anyone has made a decent musical (with the possible exception of Disney) in decades. This one is 100% Beatles. And, since I know almost every word to almost every song they have ever written, I wanted to see the movie. I knew Darrin wouldn't go, so I coerced Erica.
Five minutes into the movie Erica said "He looks like Darrin." I replied. "Mmm, sorta I guess." Fifteen minutes in and three or four songs later she said "Can you actually say he doesn't remind you of Darrin?" This time I really looked. He did remind me of Darrin. Jim Sturgess (above) doesn't look all that much like my husband, but it was the "eyes and messy Darrin hair", as Erica said later. More than that, the guy had a definite Darrin-ness about him. Something in the way he moves... his mannerisms, his tenderness, his unassuming demeanor...something. And, when he kissed the lead actress, damn. It actually sparked the tiniest little flame of jealousy in me. I could have watched this guy for hours, days, weeks.
Silly? Maybe, but it made me realize how much I missed Darrin. His messy hair. His eyes. His tender kisses. All of which, I live with every single day, but have been so asleep on the road, that I hadn't even noticed them. If nothing else, the movie and Mr. Sturgess made my heart beat again...for my best friend.
So... here's a Beatles song for you, sweetheart... where ever on the road you may be...
There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
Iknow i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more
I love you, Darrin =)
(And thanks, Jim *wink*)
(it is, by the way, a very good film. I think most anyone who likes the Beatles would enjoy it. It was a kind of "wonder what song they're are going to use next" experience. It was fun...and it had a happy ending, believe it or not!)
Elani in her natural state.
The trail I walk on. 
The new apartment
Noel & Patrick
